No child is happy their Mama gave them away. We are grateful someone showed up to take her place, yes. But to slap happy over a very sad thing is ludacris. I was sad my Mama chose to give me away and to not open her precious gift from God. I was sad for a world that could support her in doing so.
I speak for myself. And whether anyone else agrees is erelevent. I was and am grateful and yet I am saddened by my own Mothrts actions. And I am sad for a world that does this to children, expecting them to just not notice that their Mama walked away, and supporting her to do what society deems reprehensible. Society puts a lot on the station of the Mother. And adoption gives her some kind of out?
I’ve heard what people say about Mothers who relinquish, and its not nice. I have over heard so many people who voice their opinions and heard what they said to me about my Mama in my lifetime. Evidently they do not share their thoughts with the Mothers who relinquish? It is not nice stuff. Maybe that’s why? They don’t want to upset the Bio Moms who have done the things they uplore.
Maybe that’s why my Mamas so taken back by my truth? No one showed her the other side of the coin before? I guess folks just patronized her. It seems sad to me that society has kept her so blind to it. But I guess if she really wanted to know, she has eyes to see. People do want kids with their families, but they know that the Bio Moms are messed up and will only hurt us more. I guess that is what Mama Jean was helping me with, not getting hurt. But she knew I would search for her. So she Tried to prepare me For the worst. I guess I did not believe her on how bad it was.
I am grateful for Mama Jean. But I am sad about Mama Linda. And time has not helped her to see anything else but herself. She has not realized I am my own person and that my experience was not the same as hers. She chose. I lived with her chose, and it was hard on me.
I am grateful to be here. I am grateful for Mama Jean. I am sad for Mama Linda missed out on getting to know the being God sent to he door. That’s all. It’s not easy telling your mom what they say on the street about her and what she did. I wanted her to know I still love her and I forgive her. I just can’t forget.
Thanks for diving deep with me today.