Now, let me mention my Sisters, an Adoptee

Now, let us take our attention from my Mama, and let’s look at my sisters. I have been reunited with the family for 24+ years, I have mentioned that a bit on here. And I have also, mentioned that my sisters basically act like I am some ghost that floats through their lives and disrupts their little play of life with our Mother. I wonder what our Mother is thinking as she watches her daughters that she kept, do nothing but give her bogus advise about the sister who has come home? I wonder as I tell my truth and they say nothing in her defense, what she feels like to be basically left on her own? And abandoned?  I know what it tells me about my sisters? It tells me they are enjoying her being talked about in such a fashion. It shows me they are much to busy to do a thing to help their Mother and that they must have some dirt on her as well. Maybe they believe her a whore? They have not stood up for her to me? Nope. They have not called me on the carpet about it? Hmmm?

I wonder how Mama feels having the babies she kept act so indifferent towards her devotion to them in her hour of need? I imagine she feels as though no one cares for her? I believe I channel some of my sisters shit, cuz I never felt like my Mama was a whore. I felt my Mama was doing her best. But I feel maybe my sisters have some shit they have not shared with Mama. And that I channel it so we can all heal. I read people, and I read Mama pretty well, when she tells me what things she is being told from my sisters. Like, when I showed up at the house to see Mama, and my wonderful big sister shewed me away like some common stray cat, which is funny, my sister loves ferrel cats? She slammed the door in my face without even discussing why I had come to Mama’s house? A proud member of the SCA and all, past Queen for a bunch of times? But she all play and obviously she has no personal social skills? Well, well, what do we have here?

She reads so many books and yet she, my big sister has not cracked a book on her sister and what it is like to be adopted, so that she can be a well informed big sister, so she can be her best? Evidently she could give a shit about being a good big sister at all? She lets my sisters lead her around by the nose. She did not go to college like they? Like that is anything? And she followed the path like my Mama? And she acts like some pour pollyanna, and told me one time it was my Mama’s fault she did not go, because Mama did not fill out the form? WOW! Like I guess she was a bit stunted if she had to have her Mama fill it out at 19? You did your best Mama, don’t feel bad. Victoria is special, she’s a spoiled brat, that’s all.

I can see why when I come up you tell me what everyone wants when you die. They are all vipers, and just want stuff, so you have to fill your house with things so they will come over a drool about it, instead of follow your lead and get their own? Like I did better with what little you gave me? I have a very nice house and God is very good to me and blesses me, so I don’t really have to come drool over your stuff. Mama Jean is very good to me and I pay her back with being a good person and helping those who need help, like she did for me. Money fades. God is my security. And I surely don’t want Mama’s stuff. All though I would like something she loved, and some of her clothes to wear when she is gone. I want to have something that smells her. I missed that growing up, being able to bury my head into her neck as she held me. I missed her breath as she prayed for me and her sewing me things and doing my hair. I missed her good cooking, and sour dough pancakes on Sundays.

But evidently you need all of her more than me. And tell her to cut me off and block me. Surely I want what you all want, so you need to protect her from my scavenger ways. Of course I am greedy and want to hurt her like you? Of course. It is all clear to me now my Mother is being abused by a bunch of greedy sisters and kids who have not payed attention to her life, and how she has worked  hard to teach you better manners. You can lead a bunch of donkeys to the water hole, but don’t expect them to pay attention and drink? LOL, Mama, I see it. These girls are a mess. They don’t watch what you do at all. You serve at the church and let drug addicts help you, and cook and teach cooking. You work hard to be productive and love God as best you can and read the scriptures and work to practice them.

Little did you know that your baby girl would be you on steroids, but as I can see you needed me too. My sisters are a mess. Workaholics, deadbeats, blow hard intellectualist, lovers of self, before lovers of God and his word and family above all. Let don’t forget the one who is in her own world far away, the baby. That’s just great, you can be on your own, but how do you do as a real family? Baby girl has come home and how have you chosen to act? Like I am not here? And big sisters doing her best, but baby sisters are brats too. They seem to think that they can talk to me about her behind their backs, and that I will just join along? LOL. No I was raised better. Mama made sure of it. Yeah, Mama sent me away, so I could come back and set your asses all straight. She’s tired of you all waiting to have her stuff. What about her? She’s a person.

Am I the only one who really wants all of her? Am I the only one wanting her to come clean? And you all don’t seem to support her telling it all and loving her through it? You want her to stay the same? WOW! Mama, I see it. The sisters really think they can still keep my portion that was lent to them when I left? Well, sisters, move over, this baby girls home. And I have lots of things I want to do with our Mama. I sure do not want to do it with you around either. You suck. I will take her on a special Mother daughter weekend without you all. And pamper her, so she can talk about it to you later. ok? Yeah, and I’ll go spend weeks at the house helping her get things cleaned and weeded and all that, cuz I am good like that. I do it all the time for Mama Jean.

I wiped my own Dad’s ass when he was out of the hospital, and cut his toe nails when they become ingrown. I used to crack Mama Jeans back when we were short on money and she needed an adjustment. I cleaned the eves, and mowed the lawn, and cooked and helped her as much as I could and go to school and go through a very public divorce with her. What did my sister Victoria do when I came up? She slammed the door in her sisters face, and barked at my Mother like she was a dog! Our Mother can handle herself, she was hoping you might, grow the hell up and be mature! And help her so she could feel  comfortable about it all! She is a mother of 4 girls, but three are delusional, and think she all theirs. Seriously, that is why Chelsie does not go to the functions, but she was raised better and does not want to see the shit show. And knows to not say anything, cuz its my fight. She is just a witness planted by god.

See, I am bad cop for my Mama. She’s been bad cop long enough. Baby sisters back and the status quo has changed but you all have just been in your own little worlds haven’t you? Well, listen. This shits gonna stop. Better get your shit right. Whether you love God or not! You make Mama look bad. OK? And that is not ok. I have not fought every bully in my life that talked smack about her for this kind of bullshit! Hell no! I love my Mama!

Fuck you Victoria Brumley, Liz Farruggia, Phyliss Snyder, oh yes, I went there! You three are not getting out of it! And letting Mama take the fall! While you watch her squirm! All those church services, and blah blah blah, and this is as good as you all can do? Snub me, and not support her going through a tough time? While Mama watches and waits for you to grow the fuck up, but she would not say it like that, but I would. Cuz you need a slap up side your entitled selfs. Where in the hell do you all get off? She can not change you? But you sure could pay attention in the class of life while Mama displayed what and how to do it? She’s paid her debt with her life without me. But you let me go at her and did not set up mediation or anything, you all just went on without one word. Victoria your contribution was pathetic, SCA woman my ass.

Queen of the trash. This whole thing is the opportunity for you to display your skill as a woman of diplomacy, grace and decorum and you slam the door on your sisters like a damn hillbilly? Way to go! All talk, no action. Mama’s right, what a waste of a good brain. You don’t deserve a car from her. I do, I at least fought for her? For nothing but  my love and respect because she gave me life! All I want is her time and care! And to back cookies and make soup and watch movies that make us cry and fill us up with love. To walk the beach and go camping as Mother and daughter and  you all suck!

I expected better, I am better. And I expect it to change! My Mother is your Mother and she deserves better than this shit show! I am intelligent beyond your little brains. I have punked you all. As I watch you do nothing in our Mothers defense to help her bridge the gap, by extending the love she gave you to your sister, you acted like some self entitled brats. Way to go. Yeah, I gave you all  plenty of rope to hang yourselves. Mama’s got all she needs now to see you for who you really are. Spineless, selfish, entitled bitches.

Fight me up here where everyone can see you for who you are? 

Thanks for diving deep with this girl today

 

God bless

Let her call me a devil and agree? Way to go Victoria! Way to go! That is to good a name to waste on you. You do not fit the shoes of our dear Queen with such a name, you are beneath her rank, and act like a scullery maid in personal life. You put on a good show, but lack the ability to execute the same practice in real life?

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