Relaxing herbal tea bath 

I needed a fresh energy cleanse. So spirit told me to go and pick some herbs that speak to me and cut them and make a tea for your bath, in your bath. The feeling of relaxation is intense. It’s the release of a grip I was in. And my body quivers at the released. It sighs a pleasurable release of an old way.  A perception change that physically manifestated in me. And my perception is changing fast. And for some of us, we have to keep our vessels clean. We work the energies. The spirits in us cause a vibrational change where spirit leads us. And that watch it is exhilarating. For we get so see God work through us. 

Herbal bath. 

Fresh herbs are best. They are just picked and at their highes peek of vitamin content at the time of clipping. They loose it. And wilt to show you theirs energy level. 

One lemon for squeezing into the bath. 

Epson salts. Flavor or. I flavor. Play with it. Be generous to yourself. The more you give yourself. The more you multiply what you have to give. 

Add herbs right away after an all hot bath has been draw. Let it steep. And after it has. Add cold water and get in. 

Sweat. Wash the makeup off. Get still. And just be. Listen to something funky. And get real with yourself. 

Lock the door. Only you. This is a mirror experiences. We are sizing ourself up by the outside standard spoken to us.  It don’t worry. We all pass. The universe loves us all. She loves some actions more than other because of the results. Get true to you. 

Soak up your Mother Earth tea. Test her. Allow yourself to be nourtured by her energies. Feel the energy change. And teach it to your children. 

Wow. I love it. Relax and allow it to just desolve. And resolve. Hope you try it and let me your results. I love how spirit is so personal. Hope you’ll try the experiment and tell your experience so we all can see how loving this place is? 

Mother Earth, love Father Time. And that’s how we got here. We are all children of the universe. What a big family indeed. We have much to learn on how to be victor a of this planet. 

Thanks for diving deep with me today. 

God bless you. 

My Mama thought is was ok

And now she sees it was not. What does she do? Block me. Like what the fuck! Who does that? My Mama. Like ok. Moms rock the cradle. Right? But my mom? Passes the hot potato and can’t own it. Ugh. 

Like I am a gift and she re gifted me? Like she just passed, like it was a card game. And I am supposed to be happy about that? Who does that? My Mama. She just moves on, throws me into darkness and just washes her bathroom. 

And then she calls it good? I grow up. Thinking surely she’s made a mistake? And no. She feels like she’s perfectly vindicated by throwing her child away? I’ve missed her forever? What kid doesn’t miss their mom? No kid. That’s who. 

And I muster up the courage to come back and find her. And she mad. Like literally mad. Insane more like. No remorse. No I apologize for doing you like that? She blocks me. Kind of like she did to me at birth? Sooooo messed up. 

She acts like an egg donor. If that is a name? She acts like a dead beat mom. Hiding. And blocking. And saying I am not hers. Who does that? My Mama does. 

She says she loves god? I am not sure who she speaks of? Which God? The one in heaven? Or the god of this world? Not sure. 

This is the life of this adoptee. Maybe all you other adoptees got some other kind of mom. But mine is like this. Self absorbed. Self centered. And selfish. Maybe your bio mom has remorse. Or maybe she’s sorry about doing her child like that. But my Mamas proud of herself I guess? 

She just wants to go on skipping through life, telling herself I did what was best for me. Is that what Moms should do? My Mama thinks so. I guess? 

I am ashamed of her actions. I pray she gets right with God. The god of heaven. You know, the one that sent me to her? I pray for her cold heart that left me with a stranger she never met. 

Today moms get so much shit for not checking people out, and my Mama did the unthinkable.  Excuse me for not being happy about it. Excuse me. 

My kids may not like some of the things I have done. True. But look at my role model? Thank Gid Mama Jean showed up to show me how to be a better Mama. She loves me beyond how I came to be. She did not give a shit I was illegitimate. She took me in and raised me. 

My Mama calls me crazy now. And so she calls Mama Jean crazy by saying that. I don’t think Mama Jean should meet her at all. She can’t own her shit. And I do not respect that kind of behavior at all. 

I may love her. Cuz she’s my Mama and the one I came from. But I do not like her actions at all. It’s so messed up. 

They say and have told me she loved me soooo much she gave me away. Well. That’s funny. Her love has dried up. And I don’t think she had any for me at all. Mama Jean showed me truth. Mama Linda showed me lies. That’s not cool. Especially from a professing Christian. 

She claims to love God. And turned her back on me when I told my truth. The truth that being adopted is hard. And it. I fun to grow up without her. I guess she was right to give me away. 

She did not have what it takes to raise me. Faith. That’s what she lacks. Faith in God. And faith in herself to do the job God asked if her. I just shake my head at it all. As I sit here and she still has not shown up to apologize for doing her own daughter this way. 

My sisters are no better as they sit and watch it all unfold. Or maybe they want her outed? Maybe they want her to pay for what she did to us all. Tearing us apart like this. It’s sad. 

Children look up to their Mama’s. We make mistakes. Yes. But those who own them gain respect for being honest and real. I did my best with my kids. Look at what I had on my plate? 

One Mama who threw me away, and one who showed up to clean up her mess. 

God bless. 

I wish you enough. 

May all those who have lost be encouraged today. Myself included. I am a child who just can’t get enough of my Mom. I want more. I want them both in my life as long as I can have them. 

This is amazing! -DJ Conrad


Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport as the daughter’s departure had been announced. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said:

“I love you and I wish you enough.”

The daughter replied, “Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom.” They kissed and the daughter left.

The mother walked over to the window where I sat. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry.

I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, “Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?” “Yes, I have,” I replied. “Forgive me for asking but why is this a forever good-bye?”

“I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is the next trip back will be for my funeral,” she said.

When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, “I wish you enough.” May I ask what that means?”

She began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.” She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more.

“When we said ‘I wish you enough’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them”. Then turning toward me, she shared the following, reciting it from memory,

“I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.”

She then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person. An hour to appreciate them. A day to love them. And an entire life to forget them.

Please Share this with your friends. It has the potential to inspire a lot of people.

Be Blessed Of Divine Light.

Would if we did give folks a doduction for services? 

This place would be a better place? Peo le would be compensated for their efforts with a monitary value of their efforts, which would give them a tax deduction to show the value of such services. I feel the law needs to change. We should all be compansated for donations given.

It’s like a speak trashy talk to those who speak lollipop talk? To many lollipops rot your teeth

I mean excuse me for ruining your candy, cupcake train with my truth. Excuse me for being the rain on your fake ass parade folks, as you parade around with someone else’s kids to prove you are fit to have one? Excuse the hell out of me. But you can be excuse if you like? But I am not gonna stop talking until a real conversations is started with everyones side, ok?

And from what I can see is that a whole nation of children lay in silent submission as the world just goes on with their lives removed from one family and placed as part of another more deserving families play and they truly just want to go home deep inside? Like hello? So unfortunate you thought you made the best choice, but I see that God made the right choice sending us to whom God sent us too. OK? And folks have been going around saying God said this and that. The word does not show me where adoption is Gods idea except that we are adopted into his family. And that is only because we have a human tendency  to exclude people we deem less than we? And that is what god is trying to say when the reference to adoption is made. We all are Gods children. And those who don’t know how to share and see that all are our brothers and sisters, God needed to make the point that we are all adopted.

Children sent to a family is God sending that child there for a reason, a society that tell a Mother that her job is to give her child to another because society deems her not ready, or equip to raise that child? That is so silly. Our minds so finite, should not think to rearrange what God brings together. If the Mama dies, we should seek to place that child with a family member and support (meaning educate and support them in doing well),them to raise the child. It makes us stronger to raise children, they kind of give us hope and children sent to woman and then told to relinquishing them is a shame on us all for being so ignorant to the natural order and to think that God will not notice.

That is why I came here. To experience what it felt like and to report it ALLLLLLLL. Not just candy lollipop, fairytale land that we thought we were creating, but the down side, so deep, not one can see. Children long for their Mamas and Daddy’s, and family, always. And our anger is because you do not even try to return us there and say we will be messed up for it? We were messed up the day our parents were removed from our lives. We are left without a proper mirror to gaze into, we look at faces, trying to find the woman who left us always.



My Mama goes on with the lines she was given long ago, even though God brought me back and gave her a new script and play that was way more happy. But she carried so much baggage from years gone by, just limping along, trying to do right, when she was lead astray by a nation that let she and I down. Shame on the Adoption Agencies, Shame on the Church, Shame on those who consent to take a child without the intent to return them and to support those children highest good. We must commit to care for children and to help parents rise to the occasion with all the tools. Dont tell me another story about abuse! When we could have supported the parents by educating them and giving them support and resources to rise to their highest potential. Who in the hell are we to condemn anyone?

But for the grace of God go I? And yet we condemn folks all day long, we rip kids away from homes, and we support ourselves and our inflated Egos that say we are doing our best by removing children from their family of origin. I dare say we ere. And it must stop.


Trashy talk is for when the trash needs to be cleaned up. I have grown up adopted and struggled a lot. I am strong. Thank heavens my Mama and Daddy gave me good genes and O- blood to help me. It is rough on the mind and the body. I have worked hard to thrive and to rise. And my truth is my testimony of the love of a child for its Mother, and that we just don’t give up. We hope each day, she will come for us. We languish when folks are happy and talk smack about our family line, calling them whores and such. It is hurtful.

People! Adoption sounds so nice, but it is hurtful. It is hard. Moses had speaking problems, it causes an affect on our language area, Hello! I have worked to gain my voice and have sounded like a babbling fool! Mama Jean did not know any different? She did not let people label me! Thank Heaven. But I saw how folks acted when I spoke. I have seen the reactions of my own Mama as I speak to her, she acts like I am mad? I have a speaking issue. I speak differently because of being adopted.

If you think about it, I have learned two languages. Mama Linda speaks about the bible, and if it don’t jive with scripture, you don’t jive. And Mama Jean speaks intellect and instinct. So I am a mix of the two and then of course there is my Dad. My Mama acts like I am some crazed animal, now should she think that of her child? hell no! But she does. And why? Well, because she does not know, or has not thought about the fact that I learned her language while in utero and then had to store that, and learn a new language from my new Mommy. That is work folks.

Talk about a rewrite! At two days old, but I knew I was leaving and could feel my Mama’s pain and anger about it. And I sent her lots of love while I was in, it was hard, she was not happy about me. That is sad. A baby should bring joy, like Jesus did to Mary? And she was unwed? Was she not? But she trusted God, did she not?

Who took my Mama’s trust in God to take care of us? Who? What person told her she could not? A thought, a way? WAs it a person? Or was it fear from woman being called whores and their children being treated like bastards? Yeah, I was still teased as an adopted child, I was not protected from societies thoughts about my Mama, and I had to stand and fight alone. Mama Jean did not get it. She was all happy go lucky being my Mom and just going along as planned and trying to make it work. While I was in a total head spin, dive bomb, tornado! Hello! Head spinning and trying to make sense of what everyone was telling me about this and that. And most of it lies made up in the minds of mindless people who don’t even know shit.

Lollipops can rot your teeth if you at to many. Truth is salt and it preserves us, when we over do. My story is truth and salt for us to look at what we do when we choose, for we all choose to turn away when a child is removed. And in a nation under God, it should to be. Team america is only as strong as its members, with children removed from families, and families not given every resource to rise to the families highest expression, we fail.

How could the world make her believe I would no come back and want her? How could she feel so little in her own child’s eyes?

Thank you for diving deep with me today.

God bless