Like the stray cat I came from, I wandered back into my Mothers life with Gods right hand of guidance leading me. And she and I, the two stray cats that we are, hissed and we scratched at the bars of our cages that held us from the love we both wanted. I came from her heart and it sustained a wound, and she was wounded still. But like stray cats we must be handled with care and we must learn to trust. Stray ferrel cats take lots of love, and must be held often and shown that the one who loves them will work to earn their trust. Stray cats need attention and cleaning and feeding the right things to grow strong. My Mama was not fed all that she needed to be strong, in fact she was fed lies. And one person was now gone that had the medicine she needed, for her aching heart, that still bleed from a wound. Her heart never wound have ached had she kept me. Had she not been knocked down by lies and rendered emobile to the attack.
But like a stray cat, she would startle when anyone got close to her. And she would hiss and growl. Except the one person, yes, there is one who can see beyond her scratching and doesn’t mind her growl. There is one who will take her scratches, because she is a stray cat too. There is one person who will approach and earn her trust and will win it. She can sooth the pain like no other. She has the chops to do what no one can. Because this person is the medicine for the wounded heart she has, and she gets that wounded heart like no other, because she came from that lovely heart that is wounded, you see. Yes, she did. And she learned how to handle a stray cat. She’s knows how to win trust. And truth is her weapon to quiet the demons. And God is her father guiding her way.
As I type this, a stray cat lays right beside me, purring. Her name is Sophie. She loves me, because I get her, and I take her scratches, and I keep showing up. I keep trying to pet her and give her my love. God works in strange ways to show you the way. But that cat loves me, I know this today. I have earned her trust, like I have my stray cat Lucy’s. I guess I have the stray cat touch. Lucy is me, and Sophie is my Mama. Sophie still has her stray cat ways, Lucy too. Lucy was younger when I got her from a gas station where the fireman pulled her kicking and scratching from below an engine of a car, where it was warm and safe. Kind of like me. I was birthed from the warmth of my Mothers womb, and the doctor told my Adopted Mom, I had good lungs, after I was born. And I know, the day I was born, that I cried as loud as my little body would let me, but I had no words and my Mama was believing a lie, she’d been taken captive, and I needed to tell her, that I was a gift. But my little body, just barely born, could not form the words that I needed to tell her so. As I screamed my best to make her see, she just did not get it, she had swallowed a lie, that made her deaf to what my cry meant. Her brain now full of the demons that kept us apart, all running around singing their victory song, my Mama could not hear me crying for her, begging for her, pleading for her to kick them out.
My Mama thought she cleaned out her mind,by bleaching it away, and by spraying a new coat of paint over the stain they told me I was. She sprayed new thoughts to cover up what really was of me the day she went home from the hospital. But what she did not realize, and what God by bring me back to her is trying to show her; but she did not quite understand, because the lies had taken over, was that she could not clean me out of her heart. No, you can’t clean a child out of your heart. And the body remembers, because we form cells there inside of our Mothers. And cells have a signature vibration, like the periodic table shows, we can identify iron, chloride and helium. And children are like these compounds mixed together in human form and each one of us has a signature. A vibration that lingers after we are removed. And the body calls to those cells even if our mind has gone mad by believing we can erase them.
You can bleach and sweep all you like, you can sweep it under your mental rug all you want. But as we all know, the rug will just turn into a mountain of remembrance that stares us in the face. You can’t climb that mountain to get away from those vibrations within, you must go into the mountain, and return to the mountain. Because the mountain is the vibrations that are yours. You need to claim each one and take them back to remove the mountain. That mountain is where I came from you see. And my Mama just did not understand, the lie had poisoned her mind like cheap whiskey. She’s struggled to see from the lies whisky like state to see that I could come from such a crazy time in her life. Because so many said it was wrong and a woman who keeps her child made from a crazy place is a slut, and a whore and not a good person at all. That is precisely what folks said back in the 60’s. My Mama was confused by the crazy thing she did in 1962, and scared. Because the world looks down on crazy things you see, the church looked down on crazy things made without permission and without a license to conceive. The world is wrong and the church is wrong and whom ever told my Mother such things, is wrong indeed. God would say, “OUT OF ORDER!”
But what God sent me back for, was to show her, she did nothing wrong. That she just swallowed a nasty lie. And it was like a cancer that grew over her heart full of love, the heart that God used to make me from. That the lie she swallowed wrapped itself around her heart and incapsulated it, with thorns, so no one could approach, except the one who had the key. Me
And it’s quite a work to clear the cancerous thoughts from my Mothers heart. Such a cancer that wrapped her heart all up, a mind of thoughts that don’t match, what the creator thinks about the child made from her. It is like a maze. Kind of like where she lives. She lives in a house surrounded by roads that go this way and that. I have to use GPS to find it. It is like medusa’s hair, all over the place. But God knows how to find the way, cuz God knows all. So God gave me the map to my Mama’s heart. God gave me the way home. To the one God created me from. Oh, yes, don’t kid yourself to think God would not do such a thing for a child God made.
And God cares for you too, if your adopted and longing for home. If the cells in your body vibrate to go home. God sees the way. You have to call God up and ask, that’s all, just ask. God knows your Mama’s number you see. And God will give it to you, just like God did for me. God is no respecter of persons Romans 2:11. So just ask.
We receive not because we ask not. James 4:3“Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.”
But asking for your Mama back is not a lust, it is why you are here, its where you came from. God wishes for each child to be returned to its family, God did not author this.
See, this may make adopted Parent folks mad, but those who can’t conceive imagined this up, and called it god. Oh, they tell themselves it is a good thing. But is it? If a child must go without their own Mother it is a good thing? I am not talking about children who have lost their parents to death. But I am talking about children who’s mother still lives. They want what God has not given to them. And are willing to take from a woman who clearly is down. Who clearly has swallowed a lie. And they do, they are glad to take it and play house with another’s child. We are not dolls to play with folks! We are humans, from a DNA pool, that has a vibration of its own and we belong there, where God placed us. Tough food to eat, yes I can see that from years of telling folks that very thing. As folks dance on the grave of my Mother while she still lived and let her just go on wounded and hurt. Truth, Its like meat for a person who drinks milk. It is hard to swallow, because they have only tasted and have not learned to chew.
If folks want a child of their own, they must learn to chew. They must learn the lessons they need to for God to give them one OF THEIR OWN, not just take someone else knock off. A child they knocked off the Mother because the worlds turned around? Not taking from a woman/ girl who has been given a gift and everyone around her is lusting after it. That is Not ok. Do Adopted folks even know how to raise that child? Well, people act like children are like plants you just throw in the ground and pour water on. But to take a child, from the garden of their Mother is an abomination. I will not back down on that one. And you can fight all you want with your words, but God is not listening, just like God was not listening when you were begging for something you were not ready for.
Look at all these children, torn apart. Oh, you don’t see it? Well take those damn rose colored glasses off you wear to shield your eyes from seeing them. We hurt for our Mama’s. Yes we do. And our Mamas hurt for us, in secret, in silence, in the silence they are left with when the world kicked their throat out. Not on my watch!!!! That is precisely my job! This will not continue. People need to learn. God makes the children, and God knows what He/She is doing. And we are not to remove children perfectly placed. WE are supposed to support one another, help one another. If folks are struggling, we do not call CPS on them, we help them. WE teach them. We love them. We show them by example!!
Showing is not taking what is not yours. Showing is not calling and having a child removed from their home, a home God placed them in. Showing is loving and giving folks what they need to see, so they can do it. Folks that don’t know better can’t do better. The church needs to get it right. I am so sick of folks talking about folks and tearing the church apart, by such actions. For if one girl, woman has given her baby away and was helped by a church to do so, its torn apart from within folks. We must learn.
Children need to be kept with their families, we must do this at all cost. If you say you are a christian, you must lay down your life and be a friend, to those who are the least of these my brethren, need good freinds. Ignorance is the enemy here. Because God is in those families that struggle too, we are supposed to be a team, this is a race, and all must win, if any will win. We all loose when we let our own thoughts get in the way of Divine order. A woman who steps in and take another womans win is a thief, plain and simple. I will not paint it any other way. So you can lay in your lustful drunken stooper and relish in the win you took from another, but you might want to clean up and maybe change? WE must learn the higher laws that governs this world. And nature is our teacher. If a child looses it Mother to death, step in. But if Mother is alive, help her, support her. Befriend her. Do not take from her while she is down, you cause harm to her and her other children. You cause harm to the world! How do we expect to win with a broke down world full of broken people.
Adoptees are a nation of numbers to rival a country. OK? We have numbers you do not even see, and so you need to remember that I speak of a nation that I belong to now, a brother and sisterhood forged from pain. So we are strong. OK? Yes, we are the strongest. And our time is now, our time of change is now. And I let my voice pierce the air to sound the alarm and the call to arms. A call to speaking our truth and to send the sucker punch to the ignorance that is all around this Adoption blessing they want to call it, it is a cancer that breeds daily and rips at the fabric of our planet.
My sister did the same thing my Mama did to me. My Mama was so turned around, She was poisoned by the lie and she fed the lie to my sister! How could she do any other thing? She had been filled with a lie and poured out the lie on my sister. But thank God, God had a way to bring fresh water in. Hello! And this must stop. My sisters child was a gift sent from god. And what is it to gain the whole world, or a college education, money, prestige, fame and loose your own soul? A child is from your soul and a child is a piece of their mothers soul that is lost the day they are relinquished. That Mother will never recover until that piece her soul is returned to its rightful place that God created them from. We must do better folks.
And change is hard. But we must repair these tears in the fabric here. It is imperative that we succeed in seeing the Divine Order here and stop micromanaging God.
Thank you for diving deep with me today. There are not many who can. So pat yourself on the back if you can even get what I am saying. My words are like a person from far off speaking, and the closer I get to you, the more clearer you can hear me.
Pray for me. This world is needed and prayer is so helpful.