When someone you love is at a dead end and you are there together, do you just leave them their? Do you abandon them and go? Or do you try to turn them around and show them the way out?
People tell me to do just that in regards to my Bio mother. Yep. They do. They expect that I should just leave her there in her dead end. The dead end that leads to no lasting change and no healing for that matter. And folks I can not.
It’s a daughter job to turn her mother around and to help her find the way back to balance. Relinquishment is off balance as I see it. It is not the natural flow. And folks say I keep saying the same thing. Yes I do. I say it differently but it is still the same thing.
I am saying turn around Mama. I am saying I am a gift Mama. And I will not leave her there thinking I am an monster or a lunatic. Adoption is the monster that took me from her, the guy god gave her. And I work to free her and me for that matter because this is our thing.
Death is the dead end road. Death of a dream. Hers was that I was gone forever and that she was free if the pain she associated with me. That did need to die. But I am alive and kicking With arms open, ready to catch her and to lead her to the promised land a child ultimately is.
I am yelling as she Tedder on the ledge ready to jump, saying no mama! This way!! The narrow road of truth is our way out. It’s taken me 25 years to figure it out. But with gods grace I see t is our only way to clear this whole thing up. And god has shown me the ultimate truth beyond our past. The job is to overcome the trust issue my father vested by his actions towards her.
My mama did nothing wrong. But this happened for a reason. To change something. Men for one thing. Men who take without asking and respecting woman. That is one. And woman who have been taken from. To give them the courage to stand up to this kind of behavior and tell the truth so those men can learn.
Dead end happen and their is no shame in them. The only issue is when we get stuck there and are unwilling to listen to those who try to turn them around and lead theme elsewhere.
My sisters need to help our mama over come this. She’s wounded. But they are so used to her behavior they don’t see it. I try to show them here if they will have eyes to see. I do not give up on them. Sure I am angry. Like who would be when someone does not see what you show them. But I don’t give up.
I was called back for this very reason.
Besides when you are trying to make a point you must many times hammer it home.