Some parents send their kids to boarding school. Mine? Sent me away at birth to the boarding school of a woman she had never met and still has not met? She chose not to raise me at all. She tapped out on her duty and has tried to say it was love.
How come I did not feel love? How come I struggled without her? How come she is not acting like what and how that stranger raised me is not good enough?
Mama Jean my adopted Mom raised me to stand up for myself. Mama Jean raised me to tell the truth. But Mama Linda, my original Mom does not seem pleased with her colaberstion with a woman she did not even meet? Does that make sense? Hell no! It sure does not feel like it for sure.
When after 20+ years I come clean and tell her my truth about it, she blocked me. She turned away from her creation by default. She told me that I was not her child? Lol. DNA says differently now doesn’t it? DNA LINKS ME TO HER tribe and yet she excludes me?
My sisters exclude me. My family just goes on after I have returned as though I never was. Does that sound sane? Does that sound right? Well, that my friends is adoption.
Adoption give people the misconception that they can do that. And they can. Free will and all. But is that the right road? Or is it thebleft road? The road that left out their sister. The left road that tears down all the Jesus preached about. For I knocked on the door of their hearts. Each one. And did they truly let me in? Did they accept the product of my Mothers brilliant mind? Did they embrace her cra cra idea that she, created in the 60″s?
But for the grace of god go they? Do they not see that they could have easily been me? They sit under her favor for what? Is Christ exalted in such a display of exclusion? Is their reputation as a Christian exalted. Is Christ exalted I. Such a display of ignorance and denial?
Christ said, he shall know the truth and it will set you free? If they, my family of origin block my truth, are the free? Or are they bound by a lie? Are they truly walking in the open when they hide themselves from me? For fear of exposure? They go merrily on without a person they share DNA with. Do they proper for that? Is our family evolving? Are they growing to act in such a way? I think not.
To block me is like blocking the sun. And nothing really grows without sun. Except maybe mushrooms? But mushrooms need sun too. They burst out of the ground and from dead trees and the sun finds them. They are Full of vitamin D, mushrooms are products of the sun as well.
Does a parent get out of there calling? Can they just tap out? Well Jonah tried to tap out? He needed up inside a whale! I think parents are called. And that god sent a those gifts back to where god sent them to prove that. For god sent me back. Straight up. And when God tells me and shows me and opened doors no man could open, I follow. Whether my Mom is happy or not. That is not my problem. It is hers.
Thanks for diving deep with me today.
The writings here are the opinion of the writer. No harm is intended, just illumination on a matter of her heart and her heritage.