Someone told me today that I was born from my parents to only have their DNA. That God made me from them only to have their DNA. And I am trying to wrap my Mind, body and spirit around that. Around the fact that God only wanted me to have their DNA, not them, not their love, not their hopes and dreams, not their care and guidance, just DNa. That I was only from them to have their DNA.
This is a very interesting thing for someone to say to me. I get it, many people have ideas that are not like mine, and not like how I feel inside. So if that is true, then my Birth Mother is nothing but a machine and so if that is true, all Moms are just DNA machines that pump out children to give them nothing more than DNA. But as we look around, that simply is not the whole truth here. For many woman, keep their children, and raise them. That means that those woman give their children more than just DNA, they give them training, love, nurture, and their lives as a coach to guide them.
I guess some woman are kind of like, stray cats that just pump out children and them move on, like mine mother was. I guess that not all Moms are the same, and we see that that is true, because I am proof of that. I am adopted. So it shows me that not everyones alike. And I think folks should take that into consideration when speaking to each other. Not all children are the same, not all people see things the same. And I struggle to accept that my Mother was just in my life for her DNA.
My heart beats because of her body and her choices to conceive. And I struggle to blow that off. I live because of her perceived mistake. And I struggle with her truth of who she thinks I am to her. I am because of her actions. And that is enough for me. But is it ok to just forget her sacrifice? She was caught in a situation at 25, that she had to make a decision, and she had to live with that decision. At the time, I imagine she did not feel enough for me. And I get that. I get it. But we see many children raised in poverty, and families with little, and we see happy children there. Maybe they don’t have all the things, but they are happy just the same.
I wonder what made my Mom choose to give me up? I guess it was God? Who told her to give me away? Ok, ok. But then I wonder, I wonder by the way it made me feel, if maybe there is another reason. WE all are here for a reason, and maybe I am here to show another side to this coin called adoption. Maybe I am here reporting my findings to show a systemic issue as humans that needs to be looked at.
Many wish to see the light, but few can handle illumination.