Am I supposed to make sense?

Adoption. Means a child is relinquished. It means a child has lost something precious. Why? Because to children, mom is life and love and warmth and comfort. And for me. Great loss. Great love with no where to gone except into those around me. 

Adoption is a calling. For sure. A call to all those touched by it to see. That we all are connected somehow over time and space. 

IT is not for sissy’s as I have seen. For it is hard to forge the bonds when ones bond has been broken. And as an adoptee I have exhaled myself working on that bond. And to repair it. 

I have done many things working in my own issues. And I give what I wish to recieve. So I help my brothers and sisters untie the knots in their own lives as I do the same. 

Being a child of a twisted fate. I know to well the ins and outs of trauma and work to help this world heal from wounds inflicted by ourselves. 

I came back to my bio mom to work to help her see the results of her actions. And she has seen what I showed her. And how she uses this info. Is up to her. Many things we do not enjoy are allowed to cross our pathes. And adoption has its sting. I felt it. Coming from a place so obscure. 

My hope is by sharing my truth, you will be the wiser. You will think about the words you say to your children and to others children. For those words can sting if you are unaware. 

I have been at the brunt of those words and misunderstandings many times. Growing up as an orphan, now playing the part my Mother gave me. I work to raise the status of the adoptee, foster child, or child who has lost a Mom. 

We never get over that. It’s just part of the process. And I am accepting that I am like this. And forging each day to carve away some grief, to replace it with self love. 

I hope you find your way. I am pulling for you. I have barfed my guts out to show you my wound. As an offering of truth to show you a way. If your strong enough. 

For the truth has set me free. In ways I have not seen on any other path. It’s the narrow road. Because no one wants to air the dirty Landry? But we must. For we all have some. And it’s stale and smelly and needs to see the light of day to truly transform. 

I am a work in Progress. And a flesh body working with the spirit of God within to bring light to such a dark place. 

I am grateful for my moms and their contribution. But I was never a mistake. And neither are you. So hold your truth card and wave it for all to see. For them their will be no more darkness upon this. And all will be able to see the truths we have held close. 

Blessings to you. May your weekend be full of blessings. And if pain be your visiter. Sit with her. And let her do her work at cleaning out that shame cave of garbage. For then. And only then. Will we all be able to see. 

As I write I see the clearing. As I purge this muck and mire. I see a brighter day. I will always be transformed by this experience. I hope you are too. 

Thank you for diving deep with me. 

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