Today I relaxed and smoked to help myself adjust into myself. Lately, it feels as though I am integrating all parts of my story and coming into a better full story about it. I do not fully understand why it matters so much, but it does. And no one else would listen, so I am doing it myself. No one seems to see my need for info and to feel grounded. I am not sure they ever will.

It is so hard to explain how it feels. What do you reference it to, to help folks understand?

Mothers dying and children not being able to grieve her loss. And everyone thinks we do not know shit while inside her? How can you all of a sudden become aware?

We learn about the world before we come into it, while safe inside her body. We turn towards her voice after birth, why do we keep allowing this to happen, over and over?

Why do we struggle to show up?

Why are we so judgmental?

Why is the church helping woman to give the gifts the universe gave them away?

How can we put this on God?

For it is us again.

And again?

Look at it, and take a step back. We are at the place for reform. But without a proper grasp of what we do? How can we change it?

If you struggle to see how Adoption tears us all apart, then we fail. We fail children, we fail ourselves.

Mothers, you did this. And the government help you. But you and I both know it is not the way. Help children out there who are crying today, by owning your shit.

You have a part as well, and you must make it right. It is time.

Those children you gave away, are still what God gave to you?

Your question that needs answering is this,”Why?”

For there was a reason, but you never figured it out, you just passed the buck.

And no judgement here, just truth. And its time for us, who have been touched by this flaming monster to stand up and change it with our truths. It is the only way.

Education, enlightenment, and more education.

Honesty, and willingness to see, where we missed the mark.

Thank you for diving deep with me today.



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