Like can any child brought up having been separated from their family of origin be together? When sepetatuon and pain is all they have known. When no one talks about it honestly. When no one wants to hear your sad truth.
I had a counselor tell me today MM. Makes me anxious. Ba ha!! I am anxious always. MM had helped me get behind that anciety which was having to keep all my feelings inside for fear of folks abandoning me again. I mean my own Mom gave me away? Like that’s big. And if you can’t trust your mom. Who can you trust? Oh I see? I am just a doll. With no feelings of my own. I am programmable and ready to go. I am not aware of what’s goin on at any time? I did not know my mom did not want me while I was inside her. Even though sciences has proven I did.
There was no bond. Oh right. You know best. Government. Churches know best? Bull fuckinghouse shit they do.
Ill tell you who knows best. Us. The adoptees. For we have lived these lives given to us by a society daft of connection. When you have never been separated from your family, don’t tell me how it feels.
You may like to paint over rust and call it new. But like us. We had families. Mothers. Many have sisters and brothers. I am one of nine. Nine!! Siblings I barely know. My family and I struggle to find a common ground. I am wounded. And they don’t even see it.
If I had a scare you could see, you would treate me different. But no one sees anything except how I act. And that is what shows the internal wound. The i yet al yet oil I have been through. That I talk about it now proves I have come through it.
And now I speak about it to help others get to mental higher ground. Truth set us free. But only when we have bravery to speak the truth society does not want to hear. This is the way to change. And I stand her on the www to say it. To be a beacon for those in darkeness. The light of our truths can dispel this darkness that keeps us in a place no being should have been placed. Especially by their mothers.
What is together? My brain. Now that I kicked out what other said about it and stood in my own hard earned truth about it.
Thank you for diving deep with me today. Bless your journey.