Each person has their own truth. We each have truths that we have experienced. And what I see it that we need to
Share our truths. Psychosis to not have a grasp of reality. My moms and I were psychotic without my truth, we lived a
Fantasy. For they did not know consciously what I felt inside about it all. Should someone dummy down to make other comfortable? Hell no! But I did to save myself. For fear of rejection I kept my mouth shut. For fear of more pain that I did not understand.
Growing up not really knowing who
I was at all levels was extremely unnerving to me. I struggled to maintain an optimistic VEIW point.
I am grateful that God/universe reached out to me. And that I accepted. For God touched me and actually began to help me out with scriptures to hold onto when the pain would wash over me and I felt no hope of ever being understood.
I speak here to show that you can make it. This universe does care. And our time is now. I am working to show my people who’s tongues have been tied and who’s throats are massively strangled by society that does not want to hear the cries.
Society is ignorant if they think this is a solution. And they are ignorant because we have the feed back they need to come full circle. Withput our precious intell. Without our side of the story the world turns in its ignorance.
This is our responsibility to future adoptees, we must stop this feedback loop of pain and sepetatuon. We expose what is under this white washed mess.
I call for change. I cry for the blind eyes to be opened with our truth. My hearts hurts some days. I feel my body is breaking down from so much anxiety over the years. My adrenals have been on high alert protecting me as I play my part. But no one should have to twist themselves to make others so happy. That is codependent. I was just a child. But a lot of emphasis is placed in having a babY. And people will do whatever to have one. It’s like a status quo. Let’s see. I need a husband, check. I need a baby. Check. Oh damn it. I made on without a license shame on me. Well. Guess I can’t keep it. What will the neighbors things? Well. The naighbor thought, “I’ll take that”. And in theory it sounds like a good idea. But in reality t is a living hell.
My Mama jean had no idea who
She bright home. No frame of reference. I was like some emba. But what she did not realize was that my heart beat from another. And that I respected that at my core. And that is by design. I have had to twist myself to see the world from these two womans veiw points. And it has made me mentally stronger. And physivally compromiseD. Anxiety is a powerful feeling. And when all you can do
Is keep going for lack of knowledge and support. You kind of get run down. Cotisol is a powerful chemical in the
Body. And turning it around is a task I would not wish this upon anyone. Having two mothers is no big deal. But having them make you
I pray my words break through this ignorance. And I thank you for diving deep with me today.
My prayers are for my people who need to
Heal. The truth will set us free. If we will only speak it. Xo.