On again off again

bio moms off again. She was on. But she can only take so much of my truth. And then she must rest. See how

Out of shape

She has become without me? Her mental

State is so fragile because she decided to miss the years that would have prepared her for me. Her mental

Process is so turned around from years of living a lie. And I work to update her so that we may have some time together where we are not at each other’s throats. 

I would like to be able to be myself. What happens though is she gets upset by what I say that evidently does not agree with her belief system. That is what I see. 

And why what I say upsets her I do not know? I mean I had to live this stuff I tLk about. And so my opinions are from experience. This has come from a child growing ups viewpoint. It was fucking confusing. Hello? 

I am Adopted? My Mom gave me away to another person to raise because she loved me so much? WHAT KIND IF COCK AND BULL STORY IS THAT? Who was she saving me from? Herself? Well, ok. So she did not feel safe having me with her. Ok. Maybe she would hVe not been nice. Ok. 

Wow! How does a person get so turned around? And did her plan work? 

What I see is she just put off the inevidable. What I see is now she left with a child who’s been raised by another. So that means I am different. And now she’s totally turned around. Because I talk different and see things differently because my new mom is not her. 

Like Duh. I mean what do you bio moms think is going on over here with us children of yours? 

How can we all heal like this? All boxed up

With only the lines we were given and so much more to say. 

I have love in my heart for the woman who made me. I am not happy with how she acts. And neither is she of me. What do we do. 

I work to escavate the mental garbage we both swallowed from a work who thinks adoptions a real good solution to population control and unwanted pregnancy? 

I have some suggestions for other ways to really help. 

How about start clinics to help woman who are barren to conceive and to receive training for their special life ahead as mothers . Woman need traning to help them be their best. Motherhood is a vocation that has been going ever since Eve. 

And it is high time we unit to protect our ability to do so. And how about making this a respectable career choice for once? How about conception finally getting the green light and out of the closet? 

How about better training at a young age? Really truth how about men telling us all their secrets too? Full disclosure? How about we celebrate life? Sex is part of this life. And it is a good thing when handle properly. 

How about teaching sons to respect woman by having men who know what that means in terms of actions. How about we tell the church to stop making us all feel like God is looking down on us when we conceive as bad? The bible says God made us make and female? And it was good? What’s all the fuss about and why must babies be moved to other families they do not know to save some WOMANS reputation that should have never been on the Chopping block at all! 

Those are the thoughts of this child affected by your bright idea!! Oh and I have got more. Change is what is needed. 

And this planets gonna get our attention. It got mine. And we need to look at this that I say is not the only thing. 

A conversation needs to get started. Bio moms need to know this. A piece of YOU is walking around without you and does long for you. A child inside always love there first mom. Always. We need to address how this modality cause trauma to the very one this modality is proclaiming to save!

And I am living proof. My words are my truth and it’s been hard unleashing my tongue for so many people’s feelings I might hurt. 

Fucking your feelings. You all tucked mine. That is how I feel now. I have waited for folks to ask me how I feel. But no one gives two shits about it. So

I carried this all until I could get strong enough to speak it outloud. I thought my

Bio mom was who needed it. But she to

Far gone I feel to get what I say at all. And so I just type it all

Up in here in hopes that my words can add power to

The toppling of this stupid plan from the get go! 

I’ll tell you what to do with the babies. Keep them. You will save yourself a world of hurt later as you must behold the

Child now grown and their scares so deep. You will be so off base if you walk away from the station this planet gave you. There are rewards for doing the job that is now yours as the child within grows. 

Be like Mary. Who was faced with the same decision. But had faith that God with help. And the story is there to show us God did not condemn her why would God condemn any of us? God is no respect or if persons. We all matter. 

I know I may have pushed your buttons. But they need it. This pimples gonna pop. And it needs to so bad. 

Ok. So their are my guts today. I want to thank you for going deep with me today. 

May we all heal from a wound God did not want for us and that we inflicted on ourselves for lack of knowledge. 

What I work to find is a higher way to see this issue and how we can address creation of life in a better light. 

Thank you and God bless. 

This blog is the opinion of an adoptee. The veiws expressed her are the sole property of the writer. This is an unedited blog and is stream of consciousness from experiences. And food for thoughts.

 Better thoughts lead to better actions to better lives. Let’s go! 

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