Adoptee-bio Mom-listen

 if you want to get past those feelings and that is the path. Past them is the only way. You must speak up about them. I know it’s scary doing that for many. You have held it in so long. And what about this and what about that. But I am telling you this. It is no easier than holding it in. How’s that going for Ya? Cuz if you’ll look at our bodies they tell a story. Eat it, break it down, alumni are waste from within. 

We all need to purge, dump, drag to the trash any and all that does not serve our higher good. How can we continue on a course and to believe in that course when the a large amount of evidence in plain VEIW to show the contrary? What are we doing here? And why? Are the questions at hand and this one too. 

Is change avoidable? Look around you at nature. Change happens whether you want it or not. But you get to decide how you go at it. But it will happen for sure. 

I am a voice to express an idea. A way for us to come back together. For we are never with our Mothers Really. They live in us in the very fibers of our beings, our flesh is coded with a similar code to attach us to her. And she is a vital link to our development. Many of us are super brains because of being adopted, but have been labeled disabilities persay. I do see that certain parts of my brain that give me joy fire more when I am with both moms. I have seen that my brain had to devote much energy in translation of terms and ideas that I could not remember names and such. I guess I can best describe it as a whirl pool inside my head. I was always in a daze of sorts. But processing mass quantities of information. I guess I can describe it as being on all the time. Open, receiving, hearing and processing against my two moms. My gut mom. And my mama jean. My gut Mama was my instinctual memories of my first Mom. My dna guided me I guess would be a safe explaination. Not sure how it all works. But it’s all

Out there. The proof. I guess in my head somewhere I had a part of me that I refered to as my Mother. What I remember. I reserve ted her to help guide me. It was so deep under so much that I could not see this consciously. My children helped show me. So I could work to heal. If my brain found answers. If truth is spoken the brain recognizes the vibration as truth. 

As we find out the truths. We mourn the loss. And accept it as part of the fabric. And we work to get to the place where we can bless it, then it will leave. Then, there is space for new. And God has so many gifts unopened. Children are gifts. 

These things. 

Why pay someone to hear what the person who did should hear? ME

 

An adoptees prayer

Lord of this planet. I ask that Mother Earth please grant us change. I ask for what is ours here on this planet. I ask for all my affects to Be given back to me. I ask for my family back complete with acceptance of me as one of them. I appeal to you on behalf of anyone else who wishes for the same and ask that the power of the collective prayers of we will be heard. 

From gods word. May these words penetrate the air and hearts in ignorance and shine the light of our truth upon this dark world that would do this to us. 

Reconciliation is always part of gods plan. 

What’s your plan? Separation is what God tries to bridge. Will we let God? 

Ps 43

Vindicate me, O God,

And plead my cause against an ungodly nation;

Rescue me from deceitful and wicked men. 

You are my stronghold. 

Why have you rejected me?

Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?

Send forth your light and your truth,

Let them guide me;

Let them bring me to your holy mountain,

To the place where you dwell. 

Then will I go to the altar of God, 

To God, my joy and my delight. 

I will praise you with harp,

Oh god, my God. 

Why are you downcast, O my soul?

Why so disturbed by within me?

Put your hope in God,

For I will yet praise him,

My savior and my God. 
Who are they to say we are mistakes? 

Isaiah 54: 16-17

“See, it is I who created the blacksmith

Who

Fans the coals into flame

And forged a weapon fit for its work. 

And it is I who have created the destroyer to work havoc;

No weapon forged against you will prevail, 

And you will refute every tongue that accuses you 

This is the heritage of the servants of the Lird, 

And this is their vindication from me,” declares the Lord. 

This is our heritage too. As adoptees our lives have been truffled with. And disrespect has been for our belongings. This nation disrespects us by denying us what this nation has proclaimed as ours. 

It is time for Us to stand up and demand it. Our families be damned if we don’t. For we are gifts unopened. What was God trying to really say when our Mothers conceived is? 

God knows all. Why would God put a baby in one and have her give it to another and cut the child off from their roots? Why would God do such a thing? 

Or is this a free will ticket item? You know where they use the free willyicketnot realizing that they have just put it off, not needed it? 

We ere when we think or try to act as if something did not happen. God sees it all. And there comes a time to reconsile old things. There comes a time for review. 

Now is that time. 

Lord. Open the windows of heaven for us adoptees here in America. Lord I ask for what is ours to be returned. I ask for you to give us back what the distroy Er has taken from us. Bring us healing. Amen. 

This Adoptee

truth

When I got here, I was a ball of flesh, and some programing from my manufacturer, who did not stick around to make sure I was working right or not. And this Adult Adoptee would  not wish that on any other child. I wish for a day when every woman who conceives views it for what it truly is, a blessing and a calling from this planet that they are one of the ones who get to go forward. For each child is an evolved version of the two who came together. I wish for that day, when we all realize the it takes a planet to raise a child and that we need to understand tot he core the design here. We alter the design and wave our free will cards like they are get out of jail cards when we all know that everything here is recorded, no ones getting out of anything here. You can put it off? But its coming back. We each get tot decide how we spend our free will? If my free will touches your free will, then if I am smart and I build you up, so that is what I will get back. And building up comes in many versions. Some are pep talks, some are bulldozers or frying pan experiences that take your breath away and make you look at something with a mark. But are we really seeing what the mark is pointing too? Are we awake? IF we as a species keep doing the same old thing like always, we will get the same results. Adoptions one issue here we need to wake up to, there are more.

We are citizens of a planet, that has many nations on it, many beings here and we are all working together or not to forward this experience here. There are messes we need  to clean up and the first line of business is to Educate ourselves about other people and how they live and learn of traumas overcome and open our hearts to hear the voice of the Divine within all of us. We must get past the veil. For God as we call this cell, is all and all is God. So, each person, dog, plant and breath is God too. We are here and we are needing to wake up to this.

The plan is flow. And self actualization. If I see the good in me, I see it in you.

 

Are we just so addicted to the drama? To see that past it, is a better way, but we must barf up what we thought would be. Look at this quote. I shows us that planning is an illusion that we project. With better knowledge and understanding of the dark things, we have  power together and have no need to fear at all.

 

 

I have made it, you can too! Adoptee

It was hard work and it was scary, yes. But I got my voice back, from all who took it from me when they let my Mom give me away. What is the magic words to break the spell on me? Truth. My truth. And I gave my inner child who experienced it permission to speak her truth, from her experience. And I did not wait for these dumb asses to give me permission. I am a sanctioned being here. I have a voice box, given to me by this planet, to speak. I have used my two ears to listen to what all you had to say, the collective opinion of this experience, yes I have heard it all.

And now I speak of my experiences, my feelings about it all. I am here to make your worst nightmare to come onto this dark place. I am one light that has been turned on by Mother Earth and God the Father themselves. I listen also to the spirits of my ancestors and my God to guide me. But your not liking it so far, and you better get ready for the rest of us. For I am taking my place as one who breaks the veil between our world and yours, so we can all learn and grow in our understanding of rules in this world that dare not be broken.

The Mother Child bond is one of those bonds, rules that dare not be broken, for the determent to us all is evident. One is in the dark now, without identity, or continuity, and is blind without their true leader, they must be lead by a stranger for no good reason. I am a child from another Mother and all I could think about was how do I get back? And why? Now is that productive to place a new being who shares programing with another with someone who is not even trained or ready for her? What does it benefit the child to be ripped from one linguistic pool to another? Science has shown that we form our language in utero? So that means we all have language issues or did have them at one point. Which means we are vacillating from one part of the language area to another trying to understand, which takes a lot of work.

What I experienced is that I was running two programs in tandem. And comparing it all day long to make sure it was right? I struggled with my Adopted Mom, she was so different than my Bio Mom. They are both strong willed Woman with strong opinions. Mama Jean had a time with me, I clung to Mama Linda’s teachings within my DNA. Not really trusting Mama Jean completely, and I longed for Mama Linda at times. And that is what folks don’t understand about this, we love our Moms. Secretly. For many families of Adoption do not discuss our families of origin. They expect that we will speak up, not realizing our voices are in the grip of a whole lot of fears, fears a child deals with alone. And we try, but we see the pain it causes our caregivers, and for me sends fears shocks through my very being, fear of her doing the same that my very own Mama did? That fear was very strong. And loyalty is all twisted too. I feel that by loving and wanting my own Mother, I am ungrateful, or disloyal? What a complex conflict to be put into at such a young age? Oh, Lordy. I have twisted many ways living this life, so much that I was like a walking tornado all the time.

And we (again meaning anyone who identifies with these statements) live as lies walking this earth, living lives disconnected from our families and for me, feeling disconnected from life it self. I guess I just felt like a patchwork quilt. My life was about gathering the precious pieces of my quilt to piece back together as lovingly as I can while fighting off everyones opinions of how I should live my life. Lordy. What a ride for sure.

But I made it to the top of my Mountain of truth. And here I speak it for all to hear. For edification, and for healing. If this pricks your heart, then just bleed, for it is your time to heal. God is walking the earth and working in me to bring it to us. And for those who have ears to hear, God cares about what you went through and give us all permission to speak freely. For all is God and God is all. And to us, the Adoptees, the Silenced Slaves, our time is now.

I see more and more of my people the Adoptees speaking up about their truth. It is my desire to shine my light and show those who are feeling feelings from a long time ago or some you can not hold back any longer, Spit that shit out! Give it to the one who gave it to you. The world. And may we all wake up and do better.

Without truth we fail. To withhold the truth is a lie. Now, barf it up. Blog it. Sing it, sew it, write it, play it, video it. Dance it. Get that truth out, WE all change, when we all know better. xo

This planet

This planet supplies the resources. We get to choose how to us them. Are we choosing well or could we choose better? 

Is living life from the capitalistic model really going to give us the best bang for our preverbial buck? In the long run? 

What we need to do is recycle any part of this equation that does not include everyone’s well being in mind. 

I just had a really Had a bad reaction

Bad reaction to my adoption. it just took me 50 some years to figure out what the hell was hurting me so

Much. 

Excuse the hell

Out of me!

It

Hurt like hell. I have worked real hard to bloom where I have been planted. But can I just grieve the loss of my mom? Now that I know that’s what I really missed most? 

Can I just get it out? Can I let these feelings see the light of day without some yahoo telling me how ungrateful I am for speaking up?

Can my feelings matter? For once? Cuz I have thought about everyone’s else without regard for my own inside. And that’s kind of fucked up that you’d just leave me that way and not even make the connection. That my moms just ino ortent as your mom. Even if we only knew each other for 9 month? Like come on. I am a being. Not a blob. 

I knew she was leaving me. I felt her sadness and her anger at being in such a situation. We babies feel it all. I think we are supposed. I think we are like arrows. And our mothers have had to shoot far. To get us to safety so we can live long enough to change it. 

Why did society so bent on breaking moms and families up? Why is giving a child away seen as a more loving act? Did not God know who he gave the child to in the first place?