A normal daughter wants a good relationship with her Mom- adoptees are just acting normal. in wanting their Mothers. We are angry many times Becasue of having two Mother relationships to maintain. Each with it own form and context. Mentally it is complicated to be adopted to say the least. And there is a vein of pain from which I dip into time and time again to feel my Mother once again.
We are raised in a really weird reality morph. We are raised to be different, and yet we are raised to blend in? It is confusing. Am I a secret? Or am I the truth no one wants to see? I am cut off from my mother and raised my my capture. But wait. They aren’t my captures? The are my parents? Oh, I didn’t come from them. I came from an Angel who made me just for them. Oh, my mommy? Oh, no not her? She was a slut, or a white, or a drug addict, we needed to save your from her. Oh, even though many children are a bused by leaving them with Mothers who have way to much on their plate. If adoption is the cure, why do I feel sick all the time? If adoption is so good like this, then why has life lost all its taste? If being adopted is damn great why am I crying inside? And why must I grieve a loss that everyone agrees that no one gets over, alone? Why has this gone unnoticed for so long?
Well, it’s hard growing up like this. You just kind of hit the floor running. I don’t know about anyone else but I am gonna just tell it like it felt. Not how I am now. But how it felt to be me growing up in an altered state. For adoption is an altered state. And many have gone mad being adopted is pretty rough.
Adoption is humanities on steriods. You want to see the best and the worst of a person. Adoption challenges your very soul. And you war with your flesh that wants your familiar Mother, but the only mother available appears as a stranger. But the Divine calls us to love beyond the human constraint. And so you stretch. And it is hard to build a bridge so young in the game. We struggle with our little resources. We work to understand what this world has thrown us into. We wonder why? Adoption challenges your very will to even live. Why are we doing such a thing to babies? We do this to each child adopted for no other reason than the mother did not want it. And if we can allow this, I feel our course as a society is doomed indeed.