It is a Struggle to change, Adoption Sucks right now, Like this


I WANT MY MOTHER! Could you kindly unbrainwash her?

It is a struggle to change something. And being Adopted is really off kilter. And when you start you life off, your whole situation is askew. Your view points are askew, your ideas about things like family are very warped. You don’t see it so black and white as folks who are kept safe inside the safe walls of DNA. When you get thrown out like the bath water you see the gutter. I mean our Moms got taken to the cleaners, man. They got taken for a ride that never ends, and gets worse as you go. They struggle to separate like they say and we like fingers in a Chinese torture game are stuck. For a Mother can NEVER SEPARATE FROM HER MOTHER!! And to do so causes grave harm to both of their psyche’s. The mind is part of this picture too. And to ignore it is to say the body can be chopped up and served to anyone. And we all know that is not true, for we have to take meds to accept a body part that is not of our DNA pool, but Adopted kids just get yanked out of a vagina passing by, to get thrown around like puppies, like they have not Cellular memories, like they are just dolls for the making and her for whom ever wants to take them. We are messing with a complex ECO system here folks. And I particularly don’t really like folks fucking with my Eco system, OK!

We are stripped of our heritage, which should be kept in-tacked! That is mine! And I don’t like you just locking it away and keeping it from me for  53 years! My mom has not even given me my heritage, she thinks I don’t give a shit or need it does she? Yeah, she does. Why? Because she has been brain washed. I can keep going and I will. I will not rest until my Mother is woken from this sleep and starts acting like my Mother! My kids tell me I don’t act right. And I say inside my head now typed onto this page, “Oh, you want me to be a good Mom?, Look at my Mom? She gave me away?” I think in my head, what the fuck do you expect me to do? Look where I came from? I kind of thought I did better by at least keeping them, but they say different. They tell me I am fucked up. They don’t trust me. They run away from me. They don’t like how I talk bout my Mother, but do nothing to help me with the huge job of patching my life back together, they think I should stay all chopped up.

But I am not going to stay chopped up. I want my family back, and I want them to get me. And that is not what we have experienced. My family, myMother, thinks she knows how it supposed to be, HA! And I love that woman, but she is a wrong as wrong can be. And I trie dot tell her, but she all tied up wit shame. Shame is starring down her neck, and breathing on her face. But why is she stuck like this? Because she got told a bunch of hooey! And now that I her daughter have come back, she can’t shift her gears, she thinks I am the enemy? Me, her kid, grown up, and strong, and smart, and I found her? She thinks this of her kid?

NOW THAT IS UP FOLKS. And we have Adoption to thank for this happy family reunion! Thank you Adoption! I know there are many things Adoption has taught me, but keeping my Mom from me by brainwashing her to continue to reject me over and over and over and over is cruel! Ignorance is cruel when truth comes to call folks.

Chime in any of your Birth Mother! I would really like to know what goes on inside those confused beautifully brainwashed heads. Why? Because we are a part of this mess, and it’s time to clean it up and move on. This has come to the end and it was never useful. And now you will see why. For my People hold a truth no one can fight. Our truths of pain from our relinquishment, and the pain while growing up without our families to cheer us on, will make you stager when we finally get it all out. The holocaust has nothing of this folks.

You have delivered a sucker punch to the children God has made inside of our mothers womb to rival Hitler! And I know God is not happy with that. So we need to change this. NO child should be treated like this. Every child should be safe with it’s mother, and we as a society should make that so. Support Mothers, and families and we who are learned, should teach those who struggle to learn? Like duh? But no we create things like Adoption that tear at a fundamental foundation of this society and wonder why the children treated this way suffered and are angry? Wake up.

What is a house on a hill? When you made a baby pay for that dream to happen. Look at your behavior! All over a little baby? The Angels Harold Jesus’s birth, but Society damned him when he was old and could speak about it. We do not think we need a savor. But its not about Jesus, its about what Jesus represents. He is us, the children. So we need to look at what we do? Jesus was himself a fatherless, unwed Mothers child. He had a step father Joseph. Can’t anyone see that? Well, God showed me that?

It’s like Jesus is saying to me, “Go on honey, I did, and look, I showed you, you live on” EAch of us come here to change this world, we each decide what we want to do, but we all pay the price of this free will everyones waving in your face. I payed the price for my Mothers free will, and you supported her to do this. So your all guilty, and I am to if I let it continue without doing something. So here I am, doing what I can. How ever missed spelled I am, however my grammar is off, and even if I don’t make sense. I am sharing my heart with you, from an Adopted child’s heart. I share all that my Little self had to endure living like this. And if I am fucked up to you, then you only add weight to my words. Thank you

Hell, you haven’t even heard how it felt to my kids? They suffer to having me like this and no one thinks its wrong and they think I am the messed up one? No one should be made to live like this. And not many see what I am even trying to say. It is so big, it will take awhile to explain it. So excuse me for being a bit disorganized in my writing, this is how it looks, raw and unedited to be me. I am not going to sprinkle sugar on it for you. I am unable to do that. For a report must be reported accurately. And it pains me to tell you, yes it does. I can see it in the eyes of those I share it with, they first get a deer in the head light look on their faces and then they kind of pull away. It hurts even the person you tell it too, they want to deny it.

I am really glad my kids are honest though, I think I would be so messed up with out them telling me how fucked up I am. They scrunch their noses at me? As if I smell, I probably do, they have heard it their entire lives, even while in the womb. I wrote about my Mom while pregnant with her, I missed her so much and had so many questions for her. This is what we get o deal with, dead ends and unfinished roads that lead to no where. Thank you Catholic Society! The church is such a positive support network for us woman isn’t it?

Why would anyone treat an orphan that their own mom did not want any better? Like you didn’t have to work for it? You just walk in and think you can take over where my Mom left off? Good try. Now my Adopted Moms got to see, yes see the proof that that is just not true. A Mom is precious to its’ Child, and no one can take her place and now you have just created some fucked up woman in the name of Adoption, and then say, “Well, looky here! She was a drug addict anyway, look at her, she didn’t deserve that child?” Who in the hell are you to tell God he doesn’t know what he is doing? Who? Who are you? To think God does not know what he is going, or she. WE hang on a rock in space you dumb asses! Gezzz!

If anger is a catalyst for change, I am on fire! And I do not think that I am supposed to stop. For God fuels my fire, this idea has been making this whole universe upset. We are working against the flow of the Natural order and acting like we know it all. I know this. And it sucks big ones! I love my Adopted Mom, she should not have to deal with this either, but I should not have to be silently in pain so she can have her dream? Like what the hell. That is what you ask if you want me to be silent. And why is not my dream important? Or babies for our recreation? Do we get to do whatever we want? Yes, but we all pay a price int he end, You all will be seeing more of me and my people.

It is time for us to tally our poll and show you our research. For we are the being you have experienced with, and our lives. And now you all need to see what a fucked up thing you really did. I can not put my stamp of approval on this. Why? Because I am one person who did not enjoy this. I feel that if the process, that we initiated is not a total success, it is a fail and should be discontinued. I know that my people, the Adoptees have many More horror stories than I. And as soon as they realize that the pain will not go away until they report their findings, you will see what has really been done.

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