the thing that concerns Adoptees is, what about the baby. 

http://www.wthr.com/story/28943046/indiana-couple-open-up-after-adoption-falls-through

The thing that concerns us all is what about this baby? How will any baby feel being relinquished!! No one speaks of the child’s feelings at all. These people shop for a baby like we shop in the grocery store. Good people. Yes. But unaware of the price a baby will pay to complete their dream live. Should babies who grow to be people have to be put through this? When will people see that babies are people. Not puppies!! They have formed a bond with their birth Mother. Genetically it is traumatic growing up with NO genetic mirror to look into. And they changes a child. We become a second person after birth. We are inside ourselves. But outward we are what our parents want because of the split from our mothers we are fractured. A high price to pay for our mothers peace of mind. One who wishes to forget. One who wishes to be fulfilled.

The truth is that the child relinquished is thrown into a tail spin of doubt and wonder. As the years go by, things surface as issues of family come up. As we wonder who we are. What our true Mothers were like , we feel incomplete and also wish to have a complete disclosure of info. It’s like going around wondering and thinking you are Dr. Jekyll and wondering if Mr. Hyde is inside somewhere waiting to jump out. It is unnerving.