Hell, Mama walked this earth without me and had to see what I saw, only from a Mother point of view. We tell ourselves things to make it through tough times. But, she needed to know the rock bottom truth, like no punches, no secrets, no hidden agendas. Because giving your baby away and having her come back all hurt, really messes with your trust in this world. Thank God Mama knows God, well.
That is probably why I do too. Prayer is a mighty thing. And I know Mama prayed for me, gramma prayed too. So did Gran Gran, from heaven, for my return. Grams know what daughters need too. My Mama probably did not consider God allowing my grandmas to help me go home? Well, God did, from within my very fibers, they guided me back to her arms. Like Good Mama’s and grandmama’s, they helped me tell it and they help me hit the mark left on Mama’s heart the day I left.
No one hit that mark! But me. I pushed all Mama’s buttons from cellular memory. but My mama’s so strong, she just let me fly off the handle, she didn’t get to? So I flew off for her too! And Mama Jean. I have seen them both go through life being Mama’s and trying to make God and their Mama’s proud, Daddy’s too. And I am here saying they succeeded!
What better daughter could there be except one that does not give up on either Mama? Like hello! That is a win win for one with eyes to see the value in a road taken. Like there are bumps and we get knocked around. Everyones got a journey from someplace to another. Mine was from a situation surrounded in fear and shame. And I don’t like that happening to my Mama, I want to make her feel better about what happened so long ago, I just have to take the old script out of her mind? She learned a lot of lines that conflict with the new that is upon us now.
And I blog because the time is now and we need to jump from this burning ship. Its going down. MY family needs to support this for Mama and to make her know, we will not leave her in her hour of need. I may have to do the dirty job to start the process, but we all need to do the work to support Mama and me, because it help everyone to have Mama truly happy and satisfied in life.
My question and I believe Phil would be the one to ask it. He asked so many thought provoking questions, I loved that about him.
What woman would be happy without all her chicks under her wing?
My sister live within miles of mama. Dont they get that about themselves?
Where are your kids? Do you know?
Mama is no different, but she needs us to help her see, its ok. that its more than ok, that we fully whole heartedly, support her in having what her soul desires.
Which is a relationship with her daughter, who has been gone so long.
Make room, make room for Mama, and for me. Because I am already in, you,
just didn’t see that I was…. within her.
I have traveled long and hard to reach her door. Many times.
Sister? Why am I unwelcome to you? Why did you say that in front of Mama? Do you not see her within me?
Mama opened her cage and let me fly
I came back to her warmth
To let her out of that cage..
Mama, there is so much love in here, its pushing all the crap away. Its so deep, I have so much to share, it gushes over and I share it with others.
Why can’t the girls share? I would send that question to them myself.
Why can’t you girls share? What are you scared of? I might be nice? I might be a good sister? We might all be happy? Oh, God no??
I surely don’t see what you all see in me? So please, let me know? Because the shit you all have been sending to me smells like fear, and that is not love.
So, take it back and try again. Please.