I am a born again Christian. Straight up. And for years and years I sat under preacher after preacher that spoke against the tarot. In fear and ignorance I believed what I was told. Like many do.

And I have a calling in my life. I am adopted. I am set apart. And I am real. No sugar coating here. God made sure of it. And God knows why I was trained the way I was. And god knows why my children were trained through me. I was a tough Mom. Who lectured and prayed about everything.

So. I was surprised when I felt God allowing my curiosity about what the church deems as a Dark energy, demonic, satanic, evil, and wrong, the metaphysical world. I went to a psychic and got my chakras cleared. And met another Adoptee who is a psychic. I prayed, “lord? Are you sure I can do this?” I heard a scripture. The one about god’s hand and how we are within it. And that no one can pluck us out of that hand.

I realized that I could explore anything and that I would be within god’s hand. I had nothing to fear. God was always with me. And so I began. It was strange at first. I admit, I felt I was cheating on God a bit. But each book I purchased and read, I found god’s word, written differently.

I had spent many years reading the word and grafting it into my spirit and soul. I had served God any way I could. I prayed for people. I washed their feet. I listened to them. I practiced the word. So as not to be ashamed. Cuz beyond Mama is god. I am god’s child, just like you.

And scripture after scripture would spring to mind as I read each book! I was pleasantly surprised to read many biblical concepts written differently. I began to look up everything! All religions. And I began to take what I call the helicopter ride with God.

Because it was like I was looking at them all. And God was showing me how it’s all connected. And how connected we all are. And I realized how connected I had been to Mama. And them realized how our connection got started. And prayed I could make how it ended better.

Tarot is a way to hear for this whole Universe.

God is more than some Man on a throne I do now believe God has a she side. It’s does say we are made in God’s image and likeness. We are what we call male and female. Ying and yang. Light and dark. Two different pieces of a whole.

And tarot gets ya out of our heads.

And it picks up on all your garbage.

So you can have a look and toss it out and do better.

The word is limited in this sense. The way it is used is to suppress. God intended the word to lift us up. To empower us.

Let me ask you?

If God is within us? Then to be empowered is to realize this and yield to God’s will.

I don’t know why I came on here completely? I know I feel better each day. Do I want my family to pick any of this garbage I through out in the yard? Hell no! Drop it. That’s is the point!

I said it all out loud. So therefore I have confessed it all. And I ask forgiveness for us all. Myself. But you must do your own process and get free. I forgive myself for feeling this way. I forgive my Mama for not seeing I felt this way or that I would feel this way. I forgive my family for not getting me. I forgive it all.


Never forget.

But the wound does heal.

Mine has already.

I pray yours will too.

That is my true wish.

Stephanie’s right.

I am so grateful for today. I am grateful I grew up. And that I am a part of these kind of people’s lives. Because we give a shit about tomorrow’s children’s family’s. Especially their Mamas.

Our stories blow the lid off what the status quo was. And I say was because I know what Adoptees go through. And this is a check mate kind of moment in time. When trillions flip the script. And take over the mike.

Standing out.

Being adopted means: that you stand out. Because adopted is part of your story. It’s means explaining who a biological Mothers is and why you call your Mom that. It’s means birthdays are kind of a joke. Because it reminds you that your birth Moms not there to share it with you. You grow up kind of hating the fact that you must explain the characters all day so people even get what you mean.

Being Adopted means that your family life is strange to many. And your life is a dream come true to some, who don’t really know that to be adopted means, you don’t get to ever see your birth Mama. It’s means you have a hole in your heart only she can fill. It’s means you had to make room for another within your heart.

Being adopted means family is made up of strangers that become family. It means that you work hard to be a team player in a world where you were the reason family is at all. You feel the weight of everyone wanting you to adapt and to embrace your new family. It means that people want you to forget where you came from. Forget your pedigree, your roots.

Being Adopted means that you will be expected to grow new roots and not bat an eye!! Are you done yet? What’s taking so long? Being adopted means that many things just don’t make sense. It means you have to learn a new way and throw out the way you are. Being adopted means don’t take about you Bio Mom in front of Your new family.

Being adopted means you will always be a bit apprehensive and over sensitive because you really don’t want to have to learn a new family again. It’s means you mourn a loss no one can see. Alone. Without your Mom to comfort you. And everyone tells you you have a Mom and they don’t get you already had one, she’s gone and now you have a new one. A replacement.

My question is this:

Can another woman take a Mothers place? Does the child not remember from 9 months of being with her every move, their own Mama?

Can I trade you Mothers?

Why not?

Or why?

I’ll answer that question. Because I’ve been there.

No. Another woman can not take a Mothers place. A Mother has her own place within a child’s heart and being. No other woman can take her place.

She will have to make her own place within you. She will have to forge a new bond. Children are not machines that take a new Mother cartridge and just move along. We form attachments within our Mamas womb.

Strong attachments form between mother and child for a reason. The bond I have with my Mama, which is very strong has helped me survive.

So. If a strong attachment exists between Mother and Child, why do we separate children from Mom at all? If Mom is key why are we messing with Nom like this? And why are we not trying to make it better for Mom to stay with child.

My life has shown me that, Mom is the biological foundation we come from?

And its clear we bond while inside her?

It’s plain we never get over the loss of her. It’s well documented that no one ever, including those who have been raised by their Mamas, get over the loss of Mama. She’s is our core.

Adoption changes our location. But can never make our love for Mama die. It’s programmed within our body to long for our first home. Where God created each of us from her. She’s key.

Especially key when removed.

For me it felt like an alarm had been turned on. My body felt her absences deeply. So deep that I burrowed within me to find her. To remember her. To follow my meme iris of her. To become her. So I would never be without her. My version of her. The best parts of her. The parts I felt were best. Because the parts of her I encapsulate are what kept me alive.

And helped me follow Mama Jean and try to listen. Even if she did not do it like Mama. And she heard about that.

Mama hid me Long enough. She and I do things different. But we have found ways to make it work. She can’t be my Mama. Many think that’s mean to say. But it’s not. My Mama left me. I don’t want her to me like Mama. Not like that.

She’s a friend. And that does not me she nice and friendly all the time. She hard and stern. Because I don’t see things like she. And we talk different. We had to make a new language and learn to understand each other. Friends for me are those who say the hard things.

Mamas should be friends. They care the most. And a true friend is faithful. And honest. And forthright. Courageous. Fierce. A friend will tell you the truth as they see it. And a friend will let you fall down. A friend will help you back up.

And a Mother is a friend forever.

Being adopted is complex. It’s take mental moxy to forge such a bond with someone you did not come from. It’s take truth to form a sure foundation. Doing this makes me stand out.

Reaching out to Mama is a huge gesture of love.

She left me. And her actions hurt me. Which hurt Mama Jean to have to witness me struggle with such a hole in my identity. Working each day to figure out my body and mannerisms that are not like Mama Jeans at all.

I stand out.

Adoption marked me.

So. I stand out.

And I feel like it’s time for Adoptees to break out. To be counted as some of the most amazing people on the planet.

And my Mama needs to see that fact.

That her baby she gave away, hid and moved on without, stands out and up for her and Mama Jean.

And gets how hard it was for us all.

Thanks for diving deep with me today. As I share from the vault of feelings stored from experiences. So we all can understand better.

Be kind to Adoptees.

They lost their whole

Life. And now build a new one.

Honor the woman adoptees came from.

Her bloods in our veins.

To dishonor our Mama and tell stories tears down what you try to build with your adopted child. Be kind.

Pray for her with your Child.

She is no competition. There is no competition for a Mama.

So. When you adopt a child? You stand alone now. Your not her/his Mama. You must know that you Mother, and nurture another woman’s child. That she shared with you.

Be grateful. Talk well of her. Be honest if drugs where there. Educate yourself about people like he. Educate her child.

Honor our heritage. Honor our race. Honor our customers. Include our customs. So. When we return we don’t have so much trouble reuniting.

We are on loan. Remember, we all do home.

Thanks for coming by.

God bless.